Okay so this happened today and I am upset

I sent out a mass email today, figuring that since I see most other people on the loops I am in do it why not try it to. I thought to myself I could get a few  more lurkers that would be great. Right…

…Wrong! Evidently those authors or at least on got a little prissy. I can understand the “my loop my rules” thing, I get it I respect that. But what I don’t understand is the public humiliation this person did. If I did something no so great then call me on it in a private setting. I will be very apologetic and most likely won”t harbor ill-will against you and your group. But no it didn’t happen that way.

First, I get a email telling me not to do it again.


This is my reader loop, in the future do not send out mass promotion emails to it unless you speak with me or one of my mods first.

Thank you,
persons name

Okay I am fine with that. Then she blasts me on her loop, threatening banishment and the like. WTF!!!

Folks – Just an FYI though I imagine most of you know this – it’s very very bad manners to send out mass spam emails to a bunch of author loops without speaking to the loop owners or moderators first.

I love it when other books and authors get discussed here. I don’t have a problem with other authors participating and speaking about their books here – in fact many of you guys are authors I read too.

I DO have a problem with a mass mailed email sent to my loop along with thirty others promoting someone else’s schedule without getting an okay first. Please don’t. If it happens more than once, I will have no choice but to ban you.

persons name

I used to really like the author, I used to respect the author, I used to review that persons shit. As of now I will not ever touch one of this persons books, postcards, promo items or anything that this person sends me EVER.I left the group shortly afterwards. And I am sitting her on the verge of tears because that has never happened to me before. I didn’t think people were that rude and hurtful.

This is and probably is a knee jerk reaction to having been humiliated and my feelings hurt in stereo. But hey, there are plenty of new and unread out there that I can fall in love with their stories.

So tell me, was I wrong to be upset and hurt.

Update so now I am getting more hate mail from her. WTF!


If you want to be in this business for a long time, it’s important to show respect to others. Your behavior in sending a mass promotional email to several groups, including mine, which you DON’T participate in is rude. Plain and simple. That you’d have the audacity to respond back the way you did in public when I did in fact email you directly is even more rude.  You spammed MY group, a group of readers who did not join to see your promo when you haven’t shown a bit of interest in them except when you want them to buy books.

This is a disastrous and ineffective way to promote yourself. Moreover, your attitude and rudeness when YOU are in the wrong stuns me. I don’t know you, you’re not a regular on my group and you have no right to treat my readers with such disrespect.

Graciousness in this business will take you far. Rudeness, not so much.  Try common sense, it will serve you well.

persons name

Would you like to explain the email you sent to the group that my moderators had to delete from the GROUP moderated messages:
My reply to her email:
(Person)I do apologize for this, though I would appreciate it
if you had a problem with me please just email me. I think
the public blast was a little harsh. Don’t worry about me
sending anymore emails being that was my first and only time
I have done something like that…But it doesn’t matter this
is your group. You can run it however you want. Just for
future disagreements though just remember praise in public
chastise in private. Saves embarrasment all around. And you
won’t lose readers with that kind of respect.
This is what she says:
This was not only to the group, but it was rude and presumptuous of you. I’m not embarrassed by what you did at all. Though your reaction is unfortunate. I did not name names, I only spoke to general rules of courtesy when authors are on other author loops. I’m sure 99% of the people on the loop understood that fact, which is why I rarely have to say anything like that.

People make mistakes all the time. That’s why people say, “I apologize for breaking the rules of your loop” and end the email  instead of lecturing me on how your rudeness was somehow acceptable. I’m not worried about losing readers, I do pretty well by not spamming them and by respecting the loops of my fellow authors, who have been very supportive of me in the past and continue to be because community is very important.

You have no leg to stand on  much less a platform to lecture me about bad behavior – you are in the wrong. Your promotional efforts are spam and ineffective and had you used courtesy, I’d have been happy to have you discuss your work on my loop with my readers (as I do with many other authors). Instead, you sent out a mass email spam to several author loops, mine included and I received FIVE different complaints from readers in the short time your spam was visible on my loop. THAT is the sort of thing that loses readers.

She says I defamed her in public. I have no clue what she is talking about.  I emailed her back when she sent me that second message and the first message I didn’t get untill now. What is the problem with people? Do they need a reason to fight? I really don’t care anymore. I apologize to all the groups I spammed and no one has said anything else.  She is the only one BITCHIN still. GoD I am so mad I could really hurt some one.

I had better just calm down before I have a stroke. If she wants 15 mins of fame blasting me fine I don’t care. I have had worst in my military years and as a gov’t contractor. Bring It!!!

3 thoughts on “Okay so this happened today and I am upset

Add yours

  1. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Both parties are at fault, but someone needs a dictionary. No one was defamed. A slap on the wrist, in private, should have ended all of these shenanigans. A response back to the authors loop was unneeded. Let it go, already! Get back to more important matters…

  2. Isn’t it too bad when someone goes nuts over something so minor. Good grief it was a simple mistake didn’t make anyone bleed or die or brake a finger nail!!!! I hate it when people flog someone over and over for some small slight. Speaks about her personality.
    Have a cup of tea and Relax,

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